Hi, my name is Danielle and I’m addicted to Tinder. If you’ve seen me on there, I hope you swiped right. If not, please go reevaluate your life.
To some, Tinder may seem like a simple concept: swipe right if you think they are hot, swipe left if not. (Yes, it’s shallow, but this is Tinder, not Christian Mingle.) For guys, the thought process could be as simple as “Okay she’s hot and seems cool.”
But girls are pickier. We have to be; the dude we swipe right is our potential accidental baby daddy. So we scrutinize any and every detail in your pictures that would give us a reason to say no. We will go through every one of your photos and your bio and ask ourselves what it all means.
Over my year-and-a-half long career of Tindering in Seattle, I’ve seen it all. Hipsters, frat bros, nerds, dirty hippies, young professionals, Americans, foreigners, and everything in-between; they’re all there. I’ve also noticed some patterns in the kinds of pictures guys in the Pacific Northwest post on Tinder. So here are some typical Seattle-area dudes’ Tinder pictures and how girls might evaluate them:
Car/Truck Picture
I’m not trying to date your truck. I don’t care how big it is, or how smooth the ride is. This picture says nothing about you except that you are way too into your car/truck. This can also be construed as a redneck thing. Some girls are into that, I guess. Maybe it can work for you.
Fishing/Hunting Picture
If a girl is a vegan, animal-rights activist, you’re already out of luck. I, myself, have no real reservations about a guy that fishes or hunts. I just want to know why I need to see how long your fish is. I don’t look at a guy’s fish pic and say, “Damn, that is one nice carp.” But for some reason, every time I go on Tinder, I seem to come across a guy whose main picture is his biggest catch or his latest kill. I can appreciate if a man has hobbies; I’m just saying there are more subtle ways to show you like to kill things.
Gym Selfie
For some girls, this is an automatic no. Who wants to date a guy that is more into himself than he is into me? On the other hand, I can appreciate if a guy prioritizes health and fitness. What a girl needs to ask herself before she decides to swipe left or right is, “Is this picture too douchey?” If yes, swipe left.
Concert Picture
If we’re into the same music, then you’re in. Nothing is better than having someone who can sing all the words to Taylor Swift’s new album with you—or whatever music you’re into. I draw the line at Nickelback and Creed, though.
Group Picture
I get it; you want me to see that you have friends. You want me to see that there are people in world that don’t mind being around you. But eight out of ten times, I’m secretly hoping that you’re the one in the group I think is hottest. And seven of those eight times, you’re not.
Picture with Kids
I immediately assume the kid is your spawn, so if it’s not, let me know. If it is, you still gotta let me know. Now I actually like pictures of guys with kids. It shows they have a gentle and caring nature to them. And you having kids is not an instant red-flag; but I just need to know what I’m getting into before I swipe one way or another. Personally, I’m not on Tinder to become a step-mommy.
Picture with Girls
I had a friend tell me she actually likes it when guys have girls in their pictures because it gives her something to compare his height to. I’m 5’3” so I typically don’t have to worry whether or not a guy is taller than me.
What I will always ponder when a guy has pictures with girls is, “Is that your sister or your girlfriend?” I’m going to assume by the way you’re touching her that that’s not your sister. But I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and also assume that’s just a really close female friend—that you occasionally hook up with. I’m not a jealous or catty person; I just don’t understand why this girl is important enough to you to feature her on your dating profile. The last thing I want is to be your side chick.
Hiking/Snowboarding/Skiing Picture
You can’t go wrong with hiking, skiing, or snowboarding pictures. They tell me you have a sense of adventure, which also tells me there’s a slightly lower chance of you being boring. I mean, there’s still a chance you have the personality of a brick, but at least you could be a brick with activities. Plus, these pictures tell me you’re at least moderately in shape, because when was the last time you saw a fat dude careening down a mountain? Same rules apply to bungee-jumping, skydiving, surfing, wakeboarding, etc.
Picture in a Foreign Country
A foreign country picture (Canada doesn’t count) can tell me a lot about you. Much like the hiking/skiing picture, it says you like adventure. It tells me you are culturally aware. It shows me you have stories to tell. If it looks like you’re in a third world country, it shows you have a humanitarian side. Or better yet, if it looks like you’re lounging in a luxurious palace or you’re sipping’ Mai Tais in a tropical paradise, that tells me you might be rich. Now I ain’t sayin’ I’m a gold digger….
Seahawks/Mariners/Sounders Picture
If a girl isn’t into sports, this isn’t necessarily a positive for her. But there’s nothing wrong with showing a little pride in your city. This also gives us an activity we can do together: screaming at the TV, especially if we get intercepted on a second down pass play during the Super Bowl.
Ladies, tell us what other Tinder pictures you have seen. Guys, tell us what you think about girls’ Tinder pictures. And remember to swipe responsibly!
